


Blood Type: A Negative

by Ellisama



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Day 3: Halloween, F/M, Fantasy, Humor, Modern occult au, chrobinweek 2017, really it's mostly silly banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 15:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12510704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellisama/pseuds/Ellisama
Summary: “Wow, you suck,” Robin blurted out.The look he gave her could have killed a litter of kittens. “Yeah, that’s kinda the point.”In which Chrom is a vampire with a bad day, and Robin probably should learn to keep her mouth shut.





	Blood Type: A Negative

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Chrobinweek 2017, Day 3: Halloween.

Okay, so maybe she had watched twilight  _once_ , out of morbid curiosity to see what the fuss was all about. It hadn’t been that bad, at least not bad enough to warrant the strong reaction people had against it on the internet, but what Robin did agree on with the majority that the vampiric hunk with his great abs  _(hey, she was human too!)_  was a bit of a disappointment when it came to being a vampire. She had practically devoured any creepy legend and horror story she could get her hand on as a child, huddled under a blanket together with her childhood friend Tharja, deep in her mother’s library. They would take turns trying to read the stories with as much suspense as a ten-year-old could muster, and although Tharja would always win eventually, Robin could say that as a twenty-four year old, it had left her with a pretty decent knowledge of the occult. Of course, that was partly due to growing up with a father who lead a self-help-group-turned-actual-bonafide-cult at his home, although according to him vampires were heretics and she shouldn’t be reading those silly books in the first place.

So the first thought that came to her mind when the admittedly handsome stranger bit her neck hard enough to draw blood, was:  _“Maybe I should call dad, haven’t spoken to him ever since he went on that purging trip in the Himalayas.”_

Then the severity of the situation dawned on her, and she cried out the much more reasonable “What the fuck?!?” Robin deftly turned around, putting years of aikido to good use. His grip on her was impossibly strong, but that didn’t matter when it was his strength she was using against him. With a swift movement, she had him on the ground where she got a good look on him. Damn, he  _was_ pretty, if she ignored the trail of blood dripping down his extended fangs. So the twilight movies hadn’t been entirely wrong about the vampire thing after all.

“Wait, where am I?” Or rather, how had she gotten here in the first place? She couldn’t remember walking into this damp old building, wherever it may be. The last thing she remembered was she mindlessly staring at her facebook wall while commuting home. She had been shaken out of her daze by a deep voice, which had asked her if he could sit next to her, and she had looked up to meet a pair of extraordinary blue eyes. They had been deep enough to drown in, and she had done just that apparently because she remembered nothing of what had happened afterwards.

The vampire got up with a look of utter shock on his face. Robin avoided his eyes like the plague, trying to recall what else these bloodsuckers could do according to the legends. The thing was, apart from the blood-sucking creature of the night thing, none of the many books she had read tended to agree with each other on the rest of their abilities.

“Well  _fuck_ ,” the vampire swore loudly, completely breaking Robin’s resolve not to look into his eyes.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that?” She echoed without thinking too much. Apparently, instead of a normal flight or fight response, her first reaction to danger was making witty comebacks. How the hell had she survived this long? It worked though, as the vampire seemed as much caught off guard as she was. Or perhaps he hadn’t had his ass handed to him in a long time. How old was he anyway? He looked her age, but that might all just be a disguise for his wrinkly, disgusting-

“Okay, that’s enough, that’s enough! I’m not that old!” The vampire cut off her train of thought with a mortified blush on his face, which looked odd against his pale complexion.

Robin’s eyes went wide. “You can read my mind?”

“Uh no, you were rambling out loud,” he replied with an incredulous look on his face, and then proceeded to curse underneath his breath.

“Oh, sorry,” she said sheepishly, and then realized to who she was talking to. “Wait, I take that back! You bit me!”

“I need to eat too!” He yelled back, equally appalled at the situation. “Besides, it’s not like you are going to remember any of it. Or at least, you weren’t supposed to.” He rubbed the back of his neck, which was probably sore from her throw. It served him right, but it was honestly also a slightly endearing sight.

Altogether, he looked a bit pathetic for a vampire. “Wow, you suck,” Robin blurted out.

The look he gave her could have killed a litter of kittens. “Yeah, that’s kinda the point.”

Robin couldn’t suppress the giggle that boiled up, turning into a full fledged laughter. Why was her life like this? “Okay, this is surreal,” she admitted, more to herself than to the vampire. “So, what happens now? Am I going to turn into a vampire too now?”

“Oh no, don’t worry, becoming a vampire isn’t that easy,” he answered with a shrug, and Robin couldn’t help but suddenly turn intensely curious at exactly what it entailed to become a vampire. Before she could ask however, he turned back to her, reminding her that despite the banter they had just shared he was still very much dangerous, and probably wouldn’t underestimate her strength a second time. “Well, I should probably make you forget everything that happened up till now and just go home hungry,” he said, resigned.

“Could you not? My IQ is kind of the only thing I’ve got going for me. Can’t have you mess with that,” Robin tried to sound nonchalant while slowly backing away. Where was the exit to this place anyway, and why hadn’t she been looking for it earlier?

“I’d disagree,” the vampire said with a strange look in his face. Was he flirting with her, or was this just another one of her delusions?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She tried to sound more upset than she actually was.

“Well, you pack a pretty mean punch.”

“Fourteen years of Aikido. I’m up for my fourth dan exam next month, if I can cough up the money to travel all the way to the capital for it, that is.”

“A victim of the cut-throat job market, huh?”

“Yeah-” And there it was again, that damned smile that was probably more hypnotic than his impossibly blue eyes that she was trying very hard not to look into. Robin quickly shook her head and tried to focus at the very dire situation at hand.  “Wait a second, are you trying to lure me back into your control or something? You bit me! I’m filing charges!”

The vampire raised a single, unimpressed eyebrow. “And you nearly broke my hipbone. I think we’re even.”

“Aren’t you supposed to heal like, super fast?”

He shook his head. “Only the wounds I inflict on others. See? The bleeding has already stopped. My bones however are old and brittle.” She could tell he was joking, but none of that mattered because in the blink of an eye he had crossed the distance between them and gently put his oddly-cold hand on her neck. True to his words, the wound was already closing itself.

“So you really are an old man,” Robin wondered out loud before she could stop herself.

“I’m turning 209 soon. Not all that old by occult standards, really,” he answered agitatedly, and quickly put some more distance between them. Robin released a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. “My grandfather is over 2000 years old and apparently was on a first-name basis with Jesus himself. Or actually  _herself_ , as according to him she was not only a small girl, but also part dragon.”

“Really?”

The vampire sighed deeply. “Honestly? I don’t know anymore at this point. He says some weird stuff sometimes. Not even vampires are immune to dementia, you know.”

“I didn’t.”

“Well, now you do.” And then an awkward silence fell between them, until he sighed deeply once again, looking utterly done with the situation. “Anyway, this has been grand, but I really am going to have to make you forget about me now or my father will have my head on a spike. And for your information, that does not regrow.”

Later, when she was safely home in her bed and analyzing the entire event word for word, she would rage at herself for what she did next. But the thing was, in the spur of the moment, Robin rarely tended to make decisions that could be could be called conventional, or even wise for that matter.

So before she could think it over, an idea formed in her mind and her mouth blurted it out. “Actually, I have a better idea.”

-

Forty minutes later, Robin turned the key back into the lock of the freezer, making sure everything was exactly the way it had been before they entered.  _‘Technically, this wasn’t theft,’_  she repeated in her mind over and over again while handing over a bag of blood to the vampire, whose name turned out to be Chrom.

He took it from her hesitantly. “When you said you had a better idea, this was not what I had in mind.”

“But it is definitely better than going home hungry, right?” She argued back, making sure to take a detour that led her past all the cameras. For once, the fact that the government gave next to no funding to this place was a good thing, because it meant that only the public areas were equipped with security cameras. If anybody asked why she had disabled the alarm with her own code hours after her shift had ended, she could always smile sheepishly and tell them she had forgotten her coat or something.

“I’m not sure… I’ve never been to a blood bank before.”

“Really? You’d think vampires would come here all the time.”

“Well, we do actually need to get invited inside. Besides, most vampires would  frown upon drinking from a bag,” Chrom admitted while taking a careful sip from the blood bag, and then another, more greedy one.

“Why, because it isn’t fresh?”

“No, because people gave this to heal sick people. We do have some ethics, you know,” Chrom defended quickly between sips.

“Those ethics did not prevent you from attacking a harmless woman in the bus, luring her to a dark building, and sucking her blood,” Robin countered back.

The vampire snorted not so gracefully. “You’re hardly harmless.”

“But you didn’t know that, so it doesn’t count.” Robin then realized that he wasn’t drinking any more of it. “What are you waiting for?”

Chrom had the audacity to actually look pained. “It just… feels wrong. What if they need this for an emergency? I have no right to take this.” So perhaps he hadn’t been kidding about this ethics thing. Of all the many books she had read as a kid, none of them had ever mentioned any of this.

“Relax, you’ve got permission from the donor herself.”

Chrom turned the bag around, and read the label under his breath, and then looked her straight in the eye. Damn, those eyes were still hypnotizing, even in the dim light of her cellphone. “This is yours?”

“Yeah,” Robin replied awkwardly, looking away when his look of discomfort turned into one of admiration. “I work as a researcher here. You kind of are obligated to donate blood if you do,” she added quickly.

It didn’t matter that she had averted her gaze though, the veneration was clear in his voice. “That’s fascinating.”

“Says the vampire.”

Chrom sucked the bloodbag dry, and shrugged indifferently. “Besides the bloodsucking, immortal thing, being a vampire isn’t that different from being a regular human,” he admitted, and after spending nearly one and a half hour with him, most of which filled with awkward conversations about dragon-jesus (or ‘she-sus’, as Robin had started to call her much to Chrom’s chagrin) Robin couldn’t help but agree with him. “I always wanted to go to college, really. Not that I’m all that smart or anything, but I suppose we always want what we can’t have.”

“That sucks.”

Chrom let out a wry laugh, a trail of blood dripping down his lips. “In more ways than one.” He wiped it away with his tongue in a fashion that was utterly distracting. “Thanks. This is actually more than I usually take from people, so you’ve really done me a favor.”

“Enough for you not to wipe my mind?” Robin found herself saying for different reasons than she originally had. Sure, not losing a few points of IQ sounded great, but most of all she didn’t want to forget this surreal night, so different from her usual boring routine.

To her relief, he shook his head. “I don’t know if I could at this point. You’re awfully resistent to my charms.”

There was a playful tone to his voice, had been for a while actually, and perhaps before she could think it over, Robin blurted out: “Wait, are you flirting with me?”

Chrom turned bright red, which he could do now since he had just drank her blood, and stuttered a quick reply. “Uh, I…. uhm… is it working?”

It sounded straight out of an awkward movie, and Robin laughed ungracefully, not knowing whether or not it was out of embarrassment or the sheer hilarity of the entire situation. Chrom quickly joined her, looking equally out of his mind but his eyes still sparkling impossibly blue.

And the rest is history.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I figured that to vampires, people who voluntarily donate their blood are the heroes of this world. When Chrom eventually takes her home to meet his family, the first thing he says is, “hi this is Robin and she donates blood ever other month.” And Robin wants to die right there and then until she sees that his family is actually impressed and slightly more on board with the ‘my son is dating a mortal’ thing.
> 
> This was a fun one. I’ll admit my modern characterization of Robin as a snarky, awkward young woman who is just trying to get by is heavily influenced by @forestsagess‘s Robin in ‘Cycle’, which I love intensely. Sorry by the fact that this (and all other entries) are late. We had a death in the family and it felt… inappropriate to post this kind of humor. Also pregnancy is kicking my butt, but only four more weeks to my due date so the end is in sight, thank the heavens.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think of this little silly occult modern AU.


End file.
